First real appointment.

Since our first pregnancy did not progress past 9 weeks we never got to go to the hospital to a real appointment. This time we got to go at 15 weeks and I still remember how excited I was. I had organized it so I had a day of from work the day and since it was a Monday Hameed did not have to go to work either.

Bright and early did we arrive at the hospital. Our appointment was the first one of the day. but we still got a little taste of all the waiting we would do on those chairs the following months.

I was weight and measured. We were both asked questions about ours and our families medical history. None of us had anything exciting to declare really, other then my special fingers that is. The midwife looked at them interested and noted it down in my chart.

Next was the obstrican. She used a special calender and told us that the due date was 13 of August. I tried to give a lenghty explanation to her that the due date was *really* the 11th. You see I ovulate on day 12 and not on day 14 as is the 'norm'. She was not very interested...

Then come the best part. She made me lay down on the bench and found the Doppler. Soon after we heard the lovely sound of Sami's heart beat. I asked how fast it was and was told it was 'within normal range'. She then explain that Sami's heart beat would change with mine, I didn't know that, but it actually makes sense.

At the end she had a look at my 'private' parts. I hate that. As I suspected I has been lucky enough to develop thrush.

We were also given lots of freebies (a nappy, cream, a magazine, some tablets for heartburn and much more). We made a new appointment for the 19 week and then we were sent on our merry way.

1 trimester in pictures

this post will be up soon..

1 trimester

I was pretty lucky and did not get any morning sickness, just a great appetite. I had to eat every 2nd hour. Other symptoms was that I got tired very quickly, I could easily take a couple of naps each day and the big one - I just could not eat any chocolate and other sweets where not very tasty either.

Now, I'm a HUGE fan of sweets and had up to then needed to use a lot of will power for not to eat a pound of chocolate everyday. So not being able to eat chocolate was weird. And pretty unfair! My mum sent us several big chocolates for Christmas and I barley had any. I had some just out of plain stubbornness, but it did not taste very good and I got sick after.

Anyway this big not being able to eat chocolate, convinced me that 'goofy' was a boy. Which turned out to be right later on.

At 12 weeks, I was sitting and playing with my computer when I all of the sudden felt something brushing against me on the inside. It felt funny but pretty cool too. It happen twice that day and then I did not feel anything before 14 weeks. At 14 weeks I felt like little taps and I imagine it was goofy kicking his little feet. Later on he got very good with this kicking.

The first trimester went very very slowly and I was pretty nervous about having another miscarriage. But as the days went on and things seem to be fine I started to relax a bit.

the stork is coming

As the sun dies, birthing the night,
Darkness reigns without the presence of light,
Except for the little beacon high up in the skies,
Flapping his long wings, onward he flies.

He lights up an otherwise dismal night.
He makes all the wrongs into a right.
As we await his impending arrival
With a cargo essential for our survival.

We have been waiting so long for this
Precious cargo, this bundle of bliss.
This answer to our prayers, this light
For which we have and will continue to fight.

There is still sometime till the coming
But the bees have already started humming.
The flowers are already in full bloom
And we know that he will be here soon.

first scan

when I was pregnant the first time and then lost the baby, the doctor was for a little while concern that the pregnancy might had been an etopic pregnancy. Lucky this was not right. But this time I was a bit *mean* and use this in our favor. You see normally you only get one scan during a pregnancy if you use public health care and that is a 20 weeks. I was desperate to have a check on this little one, so after twisting my GP doctors arm a little he sign of referral for an early scan.

We went in for the scan when we were almost 7 weeks pregnant. Very nervous, but it turned out to be the most amazing thing. The baby was clearly visible and we could see his little heart beating. We were in awe. The tech who did the scan call the baby 'beautiful' and we could not agree more.

We got some pictures from the first scan, but those were unfortunately they were not really pictures. They look more like negatives or x-rays. Even so I took a picture with my camera of one of them and you can sort of see the baby on it.



The baby is the little 'bean' you can barely see. And from the outside it now looked like this:



Around this time I started to call the baby 'Goofy' (after the Disney character). Hameed didn't like it much, but the name stuck and before he knew it he was calling the baby 'goofy' too.

How it all started..

we had even before we started to 'official' date talked about what we will name a child if we ever had one together, so I guess you can say we always wanted kids. For a while it seem like we had to wait a few years as the money situation was not the best, but then I got a good advice from another mum - there will never be a 'right' time, you just have to make it right. This was back in April 2006.

We talked about it and decided that yeah, we wanted to try to have a baby. You can imagine the shock we had when we found out the very next month that we were indeed expecting a baby!

Unfortunately that pregnancy ended early. At 9 weeks we were told by the doctor that she was sorry but we had a miscarriage. We were aware of the fact that this could happen and also that very many pregnancy does end in miscarriage, but it was still hard when it happen to yourself. We bought a small glass angel to remember our baby angel by. If you come to visit us, you can see this little angel standing on our shelf in the living room.

It took us a few weeks to recover, but the miscarriage also made something very clear for us - we really wanted a baby. We started to try again and this time it did not happen right away so I got a little bit hmm 'crazy' - I guess that sums it up.

I decided that we needed to get some tests done to make sure that nothing was wrong with us. My ever patiently husband came along without complaining. The results from the tests cam back all normal and even better, a few days before we got our results back we found out that we were expecting again. Our new baby was due to be born in August 2007.

Sami Muaz

Sami Muaz was my beautiful boy which his dad and I had been waited patiently for during 9 long months. He was loved from the minute we knew about him and he is greatly missed now.

Sami was as I said beautiful, but unfortunately he was also born with severe defects. So severe that there was really nothing doctors could do for him. We got to spend 4 wonderful but very short days with Sami and we will for always cherish those days.

This blog is meant to be a record of Sami's story - we shared very little of his story before he was born as we kept hoping for a better outcome. So this is for friends and families that wanted to know the whole story and also a way for us to collect everything in one place.

Rest in peace my darling